Top Divorce Myths in New Jersey

Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in a person’s life—and unfortunately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Myths about child custody, alimony, child support and property division often circulate online or through well-meaning friends, creating confusion about what actually happens under New Jersey divorce law.

At Atkins, Tafuri, Minassian, D’Amato, Beane & Miller, P.A., we help clients see beyond the myths and understand their rights and obligations clearly. Below, we dispel some of the most common misconceptions about divorce in New Jersey.

Myth #1: “If my spouse cheated, I’ll get more in the divorce.”

Many people believe that adultery guarantees a financial advantage in divorce. In New Jersey, fault can be cited as a ground for divorce, but it usually has little impact on property division or alimony.

Under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2, New Jersey recognizes both fault-based and no-fault divorces. However, most cases proceed on the no-fault ground of irreconcilable differences, because fault rarely affects the outcome of equitable distribution.

There are exceptions—if a spouse’s conduct directly caused financial harm (for example, using marital funds to support an affair), the court may adjust property division accordingly. But adultery alone doesn’t mean a higher payout or automatic advantage.

The truth: New Jersey courts focus on fairness and economic reality, not punishment.

Myth #2: “Mothers always get custody.”

While this may have been more common decades ago, New Jersey courts no longer presume that mothers should have primary custody. The “best interests of the child” standard, under N.J.S.A. 9:2-4, governs all custody decisions.

That means judges look at factors such as:

  • The child’s relationship with each parent

  • Each parent’s ability to provide stability

  • Work schedules, home environment, and history of cooperation

Custody in New Jersey often results in joint legal custody, where both parents share decision-making. Physical custody (where the child primarily lives) can be shared or granted primarily to one parent based on the family’s specific circumstances.

The truth: Gender plays no role in custody determinations—New Jersey law prioritizes the child’s best interests, not traditional roles.

Myth #3: “All marital assets are split 50/50.”

Many believe divorce means an automatic 50/50 division of everything. In reality, New Jersey uses a system called equitable distribution under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23.1.

“Equitable” doesn’t always mean “equal.” Courts look at factors such as:

  • Each spouse’s financial and non-financial contributions

  • Length of the marriage

  • Age and health of the parties

  • Standard of living during the marriage

Certain assets—like inheritances or premarital property—may remain separate if they weren’t commingled.

The truth: Property division in New Jersey aims for fairness based on circumstances, not strict arithmetic.

Myth #4: “Alimony is automatic.”

Alimony (spousal support) isn’t guaranteed in every divorce. Whether it’s awarded depends on multiple factors set forth in N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(b), including:

  • The length of the marriage

  • Each party’s income and earning capacity

  • The standard of living established during the marriage

  • Each spouse’s financial and caregiving contributions

New Jersey recognizes several types of alimony—open durational, limited duration, rehabilitative, and reimbursement—each with distinct purposes.

The truth: Alimony is based on need and ability to pay, not automatically granted.

Myth #5: “You can’t get divorced if your spouse refuses to sign.”

In New Jersey, one spouse cannot block a divorce by refusing to cooperate. As long as one spouse meets the residency requirement (living in NJ for at least 12 months) and files properly, the divorce can move forward—with or without the other’s participation.

A non-cooperative spouse may delay the process, but the court can ultimately enter a default judgment of divorce if the other party fails to respond.

The truth: Consent isn’t required to end a marriage—only one spouse needs to seek the divorce.

Myth #6: “You’ll lose everything if you move out of the house.”

Leaving the marital home does not mean giving up ownership or rights to it. In New Jersey, title doesn’t determine ownership—what matters is whether the property is considered marital.

That said, moving out can affect short-term custody or possession arrangements, so it’s best to discuss with your attorney before making any major changes.

The truth: Moving out doesn’t forfeit property rights, but timing and documentation matter.

Myth #7: “Divorce always has to be ugly.”

While divorce is often emotional, it doesn’t have to be hostile. Many New Jersey couples choose mediation or collaborative divorce, which can save time, money, and emotional stress.

These processes encourage communication and settlement, keeping more control in your hands rather than a judge’s.

The truth: Divorce can be resolved respectfully and efficiently with the right approach.

Speak with an Experienced New Jersey Divorce Attorney

At Atkins, Tafuri, Minassian, D’Amato, Beane & Miller, P.A., we’ve guided clients through every type of family law matter—from high-asset divorces to complex custody disputes. Our attorneys understand the nuances of New Jersey divorce law and take the time to debunk myths, explain your rights, and protect your future.

Call us today to schedule a confidential consultation and get clear, accurate guidance on your divorce in New Jersey.